


The Silence Doesn't Hurt When You Don't Think About It

by ChaoticSparklez



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A lot of injuries and such but not very graphic, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Flashbacks, Gen, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Mute Frisk, Neutral Route (Undertale), Pacifist Route, Probably more tags to be added later, Reader Is Frisk, Sign Language, Some homophobia and slurs, Spoilers, Swearing, Transphobia, Watch for the rating cause it might change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-09 20:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5553965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticSparklez/pseuds/ChaoticSparklez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You finally made it out of the Underground, sure a few people were hurt and some were killed, but you needed to get out. You just had to. But now that you're out, you remember why you ran away in the first place. And you learn that apparently remembering trauma can force a RESET. Who would've guessed.<br/><br/>Maybe you could try something different this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> hi, don't judge me too hard I know I suck at writing. I'm also sorta new at second person writing so if i mess something up, feel free to let me know. I'll try to write when I have the time but I wouldn't expect any kind of schedule. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> Some heads-up:  
> Bold=Chara  
> [italics w/ brackets]=signing  
> Italics=Frisk  
> *Note: making some changes so its easier to read, mostly with the flashbacks*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance, since it's a bit short. I hope you like it anyway.

You are alone.

For the first time, in what seems like forever, you are all alone.

No voice in your head, no friends, no enemies, no wandering monsters to content or patronize. No one but you and your thoughts alone.

It takes a moment for the silence to get to you, before you were just admiring the view. Just standing and watching the moon and stars rise above the treetops surrounding the base of the mountain. You could still feel the magic emanating from the barrier behind you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. As much as you cared for some of the monsters there, far too many wanted you dead. Some succeeded a few times. They especially hated you now, now that their king was gone. They would probably think that you killed him and crossed the barrier by yourself. In truth, you have no idea how you got out. After killing Flowey, you sort of came to outside in the moonlight. A pang of regret runs through you at the thought of the small flower and its fate. Sure, it was fucked up and completely insane, but it really just seemed lost to you. You sort of wish you could have spared the thing, but after all the shit it put you through, the feeling faded quickly. It got was it deserved.

You come back to your senses and feel your shoulder-length hair frizz up on your head. It’s going to rain soon. You look around, searching for some semblance of a path that would take you back to the bus stop that got you here. And without a second thought, you start walking.

* * *

**************

* * *

You remembered your mother and her pretty face. She always kept it flawless and painted with make-up, and it always made her look elegant, like a queen. You loved your mother, or at least you did while she was sober, which she was for most of the day. You didn’t quite understand how a clear drink could make her so different from her usual self, but at least you knew now to stay out of sight when it happens. When she comes home and decides that she deserves a drink. And another, and a few more. Sometimes, her boyfriend at the time would come and drink with her. You never trusted any of them, most smelled like smoke or bad decisions and it always you anxious when you were around them. Some of them would always sneak glances at you when your mother wasn’t watching. Some would feel your leg under the table during dinner while your mother laughed at the stories she told about you. You didn’t like those guys very much. Other times they would buy you presents, to try to get on your mother’s good side. Those guys wouldn’t last long, since your mom hated the idea of wasting money on you. You grew used to it.

You were 7 when you were forced to move back in with your mother. Before, you had been living with your father and your little brother after their divorce. At first your father made sure that you could never see your mother again, but she was very cunning if not devious. In the span of two years, she had managed to drop her child abuse charges and sued the crap out of your father for “stealing her children”. It got to a point where he couldn’t support the two of you anymore and she knew full well of it. Since your brother was barely 2, the choice fell to you. You had to decide whether to stay with your father or your mother. And whomever you chose, your brother would have to live with the other. You knew that your mother hated your brother and if he went with her, then he wouldn’t have been able to grow up like you wanted him to. So you chose to live with your mother. You knew your life would be hell, but for Aenta, you would do anything.

_You were setting in one of the seats next to your mother and her friend at a local hair salon. Your mother liked to go there often, even though she couldn’t afford it half the time. You mindlessly colored in your sketchbook while your mother gossiped, like she normally did. Usually you ignored them, but they were talking about you, so you listened discreetly._

_“I must say, that little girl of yours in quite the charmer. I have no doubt she’ll make a man very happy one day.” You heard your mother’s friend, Rebecca, say. She was a tall and skinny lady, with light brown skin and dark lips and always had her hair up in curls. She was the nicer of your mother’s friends, but, like the rest, blind to what happened behind closed doors._

_Your mother’s confident laugh filled the air at Rebecca’s words, “Hah! Let’s just hope she finds someone better than her bastard of a father.” Your slight smile faltered at that. You were hoping she could finally understand that you weren’t the little girl she wanted you to be, but she never listened when you brought it up. Or she’d listen, then threaten to hit you for talking back to her. Guess you can’t always get what you want._

_“Ain’t that the truth.” Rebecca continued, obviously not seeing your gloom. “Did I tell you that I found David in bed with some hooker the other night? I swear, I almost killed the bitch.”_

_“What an asshole.”_

_“Hah, what can I say? All men are assholes. You know, maybe if you’re lucky, your little girl will grow up to be one of them faggot teens so they won’t have to deal with ‘em.”_

_“In your dreams, Bec. I ain’t havin’ none of that faggot bullshit in my house. It’s bad enough she doesn’t wear her dresses anyone. Her father must’a done a number on her while she was livin’ with him.”_

_“Thank the lord you got her back.”_

_You felt your mother pull you from your spot into a crushing hug. She knew you have trouble breathing a lot of the time, but it obviously didn’t hold her back from attempted to squeeze the life out of you. “It wasn’t easy, but I know she’s worth it.” Her grip tightened, and you stared pleadingly at Rebecca._

_“Please Alexis, put the child down, you’re gonna strangle her.”_

_“Hmm, I just missed her so much.” She squeezed once more before releasing and allowing you to return to your coloring. You coughed dramatically to make her feel bad. She ignored you. “It’s a shame we couldn’t get her little brother too.” Bullshit. “But Chyssa here made the right choice in choosing to stay with her dear mother.” You rolled your eyes without her seeing, you both knew you didn’t really have a choice._

_“What a grown up decision for a little girl! I’m sure you’re proud.”_

_“As proud as a mother could be.”_

* * *

**************

* * *

 

**Back already?**

You sat up violently, just as you always did when you loaded a SAVE. But this time, it felt all the more unsettling as you darted your eyes back and forth trying to figure out just where the hell you were. No longer did you feel the slight rain and the coldness of the park bench you were sleeping on before, instead the light smell of the yellow flowers beneath your legs answered your question, but you had yet to calm yourself.

**Jesus, calm down Chryssa. You’re gonna have a heart attack.**

You stopped suddenly, holding your breath and gazing out into the dark hallway that lead into the Ruins. Tightly gripped in your hands, a few buttercups tore up from the ground as you swiftly pulled up your wrist.

_Don’t ever call me that again,_ you thought back to the voice in your head.

**Woah, was it something I said?** They replied. **It’s not my fault you came back here after finally escaping with a lot clearer memories.**

You stood up and situated yourself, grimacing as you felt the bandage over the wound on your arm. You stopped again, slightly more confused. Didn’t Toriel heal it a while back? You specifically remember taking the bandage off before and having your scar completely gone. And now that you thought about it, wasn’t your last save in Asgore’s castle? Why were you back in the Ruins?

**Ah, you seem confused. You see, Chy- whatever your name is-  what you just did was RESET, instead of reloading your last SAVE, which brought you back to right after you fell instead of, well, you know.**

You pondered what they said for a second, going over in your mind why you would’ve made a drastic choice like that after finally getting out.

**I’m guessing mom troubles. Don’t worry, we’ve all had those.**

_That’s none of your business._ You snap back, cursing yourself for forgetting that could read your mind. The feeling that they emitted in return could only be described as the action of putting your hands up in surrender. The extending darkness before you drew your thoughts away from the voice in your head. You were supposed to meet Flowey soon. The memory of its shrill voice filled you with dread. Its fight would only last maybe a minute or two before Toriel came to your rescue, you knew, but that flower had caused you a lot of pain before so you weren’t exactly looking forward to your encounter.

And yet, you knew you had to in order to progress.

What a shame.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that looked a lot longer in my notebook, but it's still ~1600 words, which is more than my english final.  
> I've already got the second chapter mostly down so it should be up sometime soon after this one. Be prepared for the "incident". Don't mind me just being ominous


	2. Let's Not Kill Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda realized halfway through writing that I had no idea where I was going in the chapter. Hopefully it ties together nicely enough, and we'll see how the rest goes. Also a quick note, this fic isn't gonna follow the game _exactly_ but it will kinda follow the storyline, I guess.

The changes were slight, well most of them were, some of the time they just seemed painfully apparent. Like when Flower introduced itself, it looked at you and criticized _you_ for letting it do it a second time. Then Toriel already knew your pie preference, and Sans asked if you heard the joke before, Papyrus recognizing you upon seeing you. Seeing these differences sparked something inside you to try something different. Maybe, you thought, you could escape _without_ killing anyone.

So that’s exactly what you did.

You jutted awake once more, still not used to the whiplash of a RESET. You guess it’s just one side-effect from screwing around with time and space.

**What? Oh, you reset again. Why’d you do that, I thought you were doing fine.**

_I wanna try not killing anyone._

**Oh, well, in truth I thought you would’ve done that before, since usually that’s the spiel Flowey would give you after sparing him.**

_I wouldn’t know, since I didn’t spare him._

**…you killed him?**

_Yeah, of course I did! You saw the shit that I went through._

**Truth be told, I wasn’t really paying attention during your first run.**

_You do seem a lot more talkative now, I see._

**Don’t mention it.**

You situated yourself with your surroundings once more to ground yourself before turning to enter the Ruins, your new-found determination to save everyone in tow.

Flowey’s battle went without a hitch and you journeyed through the Ruins, taking note of all the ways to end battles without fighting. Some took a little more effort but others you found didn’t even want to fight in the first place. You felt a pang of regret from your past timeline after watching another Whimsum flee after your act of MERCY.

The rest passed by in a blur, and you felt a lot better arriving at Toriel’s without any dust on your hands. “Oh! My child, I thought I told you to wait for me.” She hurried around the tree and lowered herself to your eye level to inspect for any injuries. “Though I suppose the fault is mine for leaving it you alone for so long.”

[ _I’m sorry for_ wandering,]you sign to her, smiling light-heartedly. Her warm gaze and concern made you feel small, like a child but in a good way. Like you didn’t need to be so grown up around her. It’s been a while since you had someone to care of you. It feels...nice.

Toriel pulls you in for an embrace, “It’s quite alright my child. Why don’t we go inside, I have a pie in the oven for you. We can share some once you rest.” She smiles and leads you inside the house. You’re practically drooling at the first scent of the butterscotch-cinnamon pie wafting in from the kitchen. Toriel takes you hand and leads you down the hallways into a room lightly decorated with stuffed animals and some toys. The walls are covered in a light salmon color and a large (handmade?) woven rug adorned the center of the floor. Against the wall was a small bed covered in a thick quilt. Instantly filled with excitement upon seeing it, you scamper around the room, inspecting everything and running your hands over anything remotely soft. This room was nearly twice the size of your old one! And with so many more toys and tables and books. After exploring to your liking, you run back to Toriel, hugging her and signing your thanks a million times. She giggles at your enthusiasm, “I’m glad you like it my child. Perhaps you should take a nap, the pie will be ready when you wake.”

She turns to go check on the pie but you tug on her sleeve before she can leave. She gazes at you questioningly but still holds her smile.

[ _Thank you, so much Tor-_ ,] you stop signing her name in the middle of making an _i_. You smiled brightly and finished by signing [ _mother_ ] instead.

Toriel looked as though you just said (well, signed) the one thing in the universe that she wanted to hear most. She blissfully wiped a tear from her eye before drawing you into another embrace. You relished in the warmth and the softness of her fur. Once the hug ended, you felt sleepiness wash over you. You didn’t realize how tired you were before then. Feeling content, you retreat back to the comfy bed and pull the covers over you.

**Did you mean that? What you signed to her back there. I don’t know much sign language but you called her “mom,” right?**

_Of course I meant it. She’s sweet and caring, like a mom._

**Like _your_ mom?**

You didn’t reply. You didn’t like to think about your mother all that much. Instead you rolled over to face the wall and closed your eyes, hoping for a dreamless nap.

And whatever entity that loomed overhead, apparently didn’t think you were deserving enough of one.

 

* * *

*********

* * *

 

 

The “incident” happened when you were five. Your parents still lived together in your small apartment on the east side of your small city, a few small miles from Mt. Ebott. You’re little brother, Aenta, was merely six months old, and already unwanted by your parents. Even though you were young as well, you were practically the sole caretaker for the small child and you were determined to keep him safe.

Your parents fought a lot and over every little thing so it came as no surprise when you returned home from school to see them arguing. _You slipped through the door and sauntered as quietly as you could to bedroom you and Aenta shared. You could barely hear his cries over the noise of your parents’ shouts. Attempting to calm him, you cradled him in your arms and hummed some of the songs you remembered learning in church, on the rare occasion that your mother attended._

_“It’s gonna be okay. It’ll be over soon enough. Shh…” You whispered to him, rocking him in your arms._

_“Then why don’t you just leave!?”_

_“And leave the children with you? You can barely even support yourself, let alone two extra mouths to feed!”_

_“Chryssa’s all I need, I couldn’t care less about the little one! I told you I should have had him aborted!”_

_You reflexively pulled Aenta closer to your chest, even though you doubted he could understand your mother’s words. You tried not to listen to the argument as it continued in the living room. Eventually you grew hungry and took out some of the food you had extra from lunch in your backpack. Aenta giggled as you spoon fed him some applesauce. You smiled back, since children’s happiness was always contagious. If only it could last._

_“That’s it! I’m done with your shit!” Your father’s voice rang out through the apartment like a church bell. Your bedroom door swung open violently and you could only stare and he took Aenta from your arms._

_Your mother was quick to stop him, grasping onto Aenta’s small body as your father tried to pull him back. “Where do you think you’re going with my baby!?” She screamed. Aenta’s cries followed._

_It was only when you heard your brother’s cries that you registered what was happening and sprang into action. You quickly ran to the scene, trying to tear your mother’s arms away from your screaming brother. “Stop! Please, you’re hurting him!” You yelled at them._

_“Stay out of this Chryssa!” Your mother’s hand swung back from her grasp, backhanding the underside of your jaw, her wrist hitting square on your throat. The force knocked you back, off your feet, and sent you rolling a few feet away. She was a_ lot _less restraining when she was drinking. You sputtered and coughed, gasping for breath. Pain filled your chest and throat, and you feel yourself shaking on the ground. Aenta’s cries mixed with your parents’ shouts and grew distant from your mind. You found it hard to focus on the arms that wrapped around you, your vision fading at the edges. You desperately prayed to whatever was above for the pain to stop. You still couldn’t breathe and your head was ringing louder and louder for each second that went by._

_Then it all went dark._

 

* * *

*********

* * *

 

Your breath couldn’t return to you fast enough as you shot awake from your slumber. You grasped your chest and hugged your knees, letting your tears flow softly as you maintained your breathing. The memories from before still plagued your thought, the pain of having to relive those moments circling in your chest and throat. You barely noticed when a soft hand began rubbing your back.

“Everything is alright, my child. It was just a bad dream. You are safe here.” Toriel spoke softly with a voice commonly used for soothing children. She must’ve had a lot of experience with this sort of thing. You looked up to see her sitting on the foot of the bed, smiling patiently but you can see the slight concern in her eyes. You release another sob and wrap your arms around her, pressing your tear stained face into her shoulder. She embraced you in return, whispering words of assurance above you.

**…that wasn’t a dream…**

You mentally shook your head and pulled back, wiping your tears on the sleeves of your sweater. You felt so…drained, like there was nothing else left inside that you could feel. You did your best to ignore it and smiled at Toriel, signing [ _pie?_ ] in front of you. She smiled back, and stood to collect the slice of pie sitting on the desk at the other end of the room.

The pie was more than magical, releasing the tension in your throat and bringing back the feeling in your smile. Toriel excused herself, presumably to read beside the fireplace. You knew that you would have to ask her how to get home next, then you would fight.

**Are you okay now?**

_Yeah. I guess I just needed to calm down, and eat pie._

**Well, I suck at being comforting and shit but… uh… it’s okay now. You’re safe with Toriel and I know you don’t want to fight her so, uh, maybe you could stay here?**

You stare at the empty plate in your lap, thinking over the voice’s suggestion. You know they’re right, you would be safe if you stayed. Toriel wouldn’t mind, she would treat you like you were her own. Maybe another human would fall, and you could take them in as well. You could finally have a family again.

But you know you couldn’t stay.

You had to get back to the surface. You had to see Aenta again. You just had to.

You stood up and walked towards the living room, leaving the empty pie plate on top of the bed. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback on the first chapter btw, I really appreciated it cause I honestly don't see that my writing's any good, but if you like it then let me know I guess. It really helps. Sorry for the bit of an abrupt end, if there's anything in the world that I fail at, it's intros and endings. My friends can vouch.


	3. First Name Basis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooow, oki that took a lot longer longer than i wanted it to. But in my defense, school is a bitch. I'll write more of my struggles in the end notes, enjoy the long chapter!

But first, you must explore. The last two times you were here, you were in too much of a hurry to stop and smell the flowers, literally. You didn’t notice before but there are a few of the same flowers that you woke up on adorning some of the rooms. They added a nice touch of color and seemed to emit a shine before you even turned on the lights.

Toriel’s room was a lot like the guest room, though slightly larger and with a different color scheme. The bed was also against the opposite wall and was queen sized. You see a small desk by the door and spy an open journal sitting atop it. Feeling curious, you look to the open page. A shitty pun circled in red. More puns of equal stature were written on almost every single line. A memory of a certain skeleton makes its way into your mind and you giggle out loud. Those two would be so _perfect_ for each other. The bookshelf against the back wall caught your attention next so you wander over to see what was on the shelves. You pull out a book at random and open to a page. It depicts a certain plant called “Typha” (aka _water sausage_ ) that grows naturally in the underground. That’s pretty cool, you guess. As you put the book away, you see a potted buttercup sitting on top of the shelf. For some reason, you feel like you should eat it. Which is weird, considering you don’t really care much for flowers or plants in general.

 _Hey, do you know anything about the golden flowers?_ You feel compelled to ask the voice in your head.

**I know they’re poisonous, like, _deadly_ poisonous.**

_How do you know that?_

**Heh, you know. Live and learn.**

You leave the conversation at that, the ominous tone of the voice not sitting very comfortably with you. You leave Toriel’s room and find a door with a sign on it. The sign says “under renovations” and your curiosity spikes again, leaving you to attempt to turn the knob. It’s stuck shut. You turn it with more force. It still doesn’t budge. You pull on it with all the strength you can possible muster at this given moment. Aaaaaaand it’s still closed. You give up and exhale stubbornly, turning to check out the end of the hallway. All that stands there is a potted plant (which looks like the ‘water sausage’ that you saw in Toriel’s book) and a mirror hanging on the wall. You gaze at your reflection, noting the absence of the bandage on your arm and the disheveled look of your bed head.

**Hmm, so _that’s_ what you look like.**

_You didn’t know? But you’re like, in my head._

**Exactly, can’t really get an external view when I’m trapped inside.**

_So you can only see what I see?_

**Yes.**

_Weird._

You look back at yourself in the mirror, and suddenly feel a bit self-conscious. Running your hands through the nest on your head, you attempt to tame your hair, but give up after a few seconds. Instead, you use a small ribbon that you found in one of the puzzles to tie back some of your frilly hair. It’s pretty cute, you admit.

_So hey, I just realized that you’re practically invading my personal thoughts and stuff but I don’t know anything about you. Hell, I don’t even know your name!_

**You didn’t ask, anyway, it’s not really important, you can call me anything you want. I don’t really care.**

_Aw, but I want to know._

**Well that’s too bad.**

_What if I tell you my name?_

**I already know your name, it’s Chr-**

_No, I meant_ my _name, not the name I was forced to have._

**Heh, ‘forced to have’, that’s one way to put it, I guess.**

_So, you wanna know it?_

**Sure, whatever.**

_Will you tell me yours?_

**Fine, sure.**

_It’s Frisk._

**Frisk? What kind of name is that?**

_It’s_ my _name, now tell me yours._

**How did you come up with it?**

_Wow, you sure are stubborn._

**Yep, now tell me.**

_Fine, if you insist. It’s what my brother called me, since I couldn’t really say my other name right. I had a bit of a speech impediment when I was younger, so he thought my name was “Frissa”. That eventually molded into Frisk, which I happily kept._

**Is that why you don’t talk?**

You sighed and drew away from your thoughts, apparently sometime during your internal conversation, you had mindlessly decided to walk back to the guest room and sit on the bed. Your hands were around an old picture frame that was once sitting by the closet on a small dresser. You gazed at it with more interest and saw Toriel standing next to two other similar-looking goat monsters. The larger one you recognized to be King Asgore, but there was a smaller monster with Toriel’s hand on their shoulder that you didn’t recognize. _Asriel_ , you thought. The king and queen’s son. And apparently Toriel was the queen. It made sense, since she seemed very elegant and knew a lot about raising children. It also gave a new light as to why she didn’t want you to leave the Ruins, since she had already lost her own child. Two children, if you count the first fallen human that she took in as her own. And the other fallen children, the ones who came after Asgore was set on collecting the seven souls. They must’ve had to come through here in other to go home. Only to be killed by Asgore.

“ _They come. They leave. They die.”_

Toriel’s voice from her past monologue comes to surface in your thoughts. You feel even less eager to fight her when you decide to leave.

**You know, Frisk. Some people find it quite rude when you ignore them mid-conversation.**

_And you ask a lot of questions without bothering to answer any asked of you. We’ve both got social problems, let’s just leave it at that._

**Guess I’m not the only stubborn one here.**

_Right, we must be_ destined _for each other._

**It’s true love.**

_Oh, fuck off._

**What language! Do you speak to your mother with that mouth?**

_I learned it_ from _her, you idiot._

**Rude.**

_Well I would call you by your name but_ someone _refuses to tell me it._

**Haha, it’s because it’s fun to see you angry.**

_I’m not angry, just disappointed._

You both laugh out loud at that, well, you laugh out loud, but you can hear the voice laughing in your head, obviously having heard the same spiel that all parents give when you make them mad.

_Alright, I know I’m hilarious but can you please tell me your name now?_

**_Fiiiiine_. It’s Chara.**

_Ooh, that’s a pretty name. It’s Greek, right?_

**Uh, yeah? How’d you know?**

_My mom is Greek. I remember before Aenta was born, my mom and I would sometimes look through baby name books to find out what to name him. She wanted his name to be Greek too, like mine and hers._

**Glad to know it wasn’t always hell in your house.**

_Yeah, I guess it was after he was born, when everything went to shit._

**…sorry.**

_It’s not your fault. Anyway, we should probably get going, since it’s gonna be awhile until we can get to Snowdin and rest again. Especially with Papyrus and his puzzles and such._

**…“we”?**

_Well, yah, we’re basically sharing the same mind or soul or something._

**Hmm, I guess so.**

Your attention was caught again by the sound of the guest room door opening slightly and you looked up to see Toriel checking on you in the doorway. She glances down to the picture frame still in your hands and you suddenly feel like you were more of an intruder than a welcomed guest. But the feeling immediately dissipates once Toriel smiles and takes a seat next to you on the bed. The sudden shift in weight causes you to fall slightly on her shoulder as she kindly takes the picture from your hands. You don’t bother correctly yourself completely, but you shift to more comfortable position while still leaning against her. You hold your hands in front of you to get her attention before signing [ _who_ ,] then pointing to the smaller goat monster in the photo. You knew who it was already, but not a lot about him.

She smiles warmly once again, but you hear a hint of sadness in her voice when she finally speaks, “Asriel. He was our first, and only, son.” She ran her furry thumb(?) over his image. “Sadly, he is no longer with us. But it is alright, I have mourned the loss long ago.”

You shift a little away so you can sign properly, [ _Aren’t you the queen though? Why do you live here, instead of in a castle?_ ]

Toriel places a warm hand atop your head, soothing back some of the previous tangles. “I left my own accord. King Asgore blamed the humans for our son’s death, and vowed to collect their souls to break the barrier. I could not talk him out of it, and he would not listen. So, I left. And ever since then I have tried to keep the humans that fall safe, here with me. But they always want to leave, to go back to the surface, to their homes.” She breathed out a sigh of nostalgia. “I’d like to believe that they accomplished their goal, but I know it is not true.”

You knew it wasn’t true as well, for one because you saw the six other souls personally while fighting the king, but also seeing the missing children posters in the market, along with the legends, compelled you to journey to Mt. Ebott in the first place.

**You know, I bet now would be the _perfect_ moment to ask if you could leave.**

_Oh, shut up._

But you knew they were right, who knows, maybe now of all times she would understand. Maybe.

You look away from her, not being able to look her in the eye. [ _Mom?_  ]You start to sign.

“You are going to ask if you can leave, correct?”

Her statement stuns you and you finally meet her gaze. She is still smiling but more knowingly and yet, still sad. She sighs, “You have the same look in your eyes that all the other children had before they asked to go home.”

[ _I’m sorry_ ,] was all you could reply.

“It’s quite alright. The Ruins are quite small and I doubt you would be happy if you were forced to stay here. I know you cannot be persuaded otherwise.”

You can’t find any words to say as she pulls you into a hug. You hold on to her tightly and she kisses the top of your head.

“But I must ask, my child, that once you leave…” She pauses momentarily, hugging you tightly once more before pulling away. “Once you leave the Ruins, please, do not return.” She stands and you immediately miss the interaction, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. A sudden feeling of loneliness washes over you when you hear the door close and her footsteps grow quieter and quieter.

You spend a second trying to repress any tears trying to force their way out, then you stand and ready yourself for your journey. You look in the closet and find a light jacket, which you know won’t offer mush resistance to Snowdin’s winter winds, but at least it’ll keep you a little warmer than having your sweater alone.

The darkness of the basement hallway that leads out of the Ruins didn’t make you feel any better about your decision and your despair only deepened when you remembered that Flowey was waiting for you up ahead. You knew he wouldn’t take any action against you like last time, but frankly, every moment spent near that thing was a moment you hated.

“Howdy! Wow, you sure do look distracted!” His shrill voice breaks the silence.

[ _Go away,_ ]you sign.

“Aw, now you don’t want my company? We didn’t seem to have a problem before.”

You can feel your patience growing thin.

**Just tear his roots out, I’m sure that’ll shut him up.**

You consider it for a moment, staring daggers through the small flower in front of you. He still has that maniacal smile plastered on his flowery face.

You sigh, _No. I don’t want to kill anyone. Even if they’re annoying sadistic flowers._

He took your silence as a sign to continue his rant, “I bet you feel really good about yourself.” His smile widens, “So you’ve managed to spare the life of a single person.” You cross your arms at that. You had, in fact, spared _all_ of the monsters in the Ruins. Maybe he hadn’t been following you like you had suspected after all. “But,” he continues, “what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You’ll die, and you’ll die, and you’ll die.”

You shrug nonchalantly. [ _I’ll find a way,_ ]is you reply to him. You knew that your patience wasn’t nearly as great as your determination, so you take your leave, passing the now scowling flower without a glace.

“HahaHA! You’ve failed _before_ , who’s to say you won’t fail again?!” You turn and see his face grow twisted as he grew his form, tall vines kneading through the stone floor around him. You’ve seen all his monstrous faces before, and nearly _nothing_ could compare to Omega Flowey, but seeing him this time startled you, since he’s only ever done something like this at the end of your journey.

**Uh, you might want to start running.**

You oblige without a second thought, quickly turning and sprinting towards the large purple door that led to Snowdin. As you reach out, mere inches from the handle, you feel a large thorn-covered vine grasp onto your leg, digging its thorns in your skin as it knocked you to the floor and dragged you back to the demonic flower. Your hand instinctively pulls out the toy knife from your pocket and slices down on the vine. You hear a heavy screech escape Flowey as you scramble to your feet and bolt back to the door. His cries of pain melted back into shrill laughter but you manage to pull open the door and dive into the cold before he could grab your feet again. The door slams shut and you stagger away from it, ignoring the cold spreading through your lower body. There was heavy thumping on the door once it closed but it stopped abruptly after a few seconds, and you were left in silence. The only sound you could hear was your heart beating frantically in chest. You remained sitting in the snow for another couple minutes, breathing heavily in the cold air, slowly coming down from your sudden rush of adrenaline.

**Wow, that was a close one. A bit _too_ close if you ask me.**

Hearing Chara’s voice made you sigh in relief but also sent a shiver through your spine. You blamed the cold, and the fact that your shorts (which offered absolutely no resistance from the snow), were almost completely soaked. You leaned your head back and looked up at the abysmal sky- er, ceiling, actually. You almost forgot you were in the underground for a second, trying to ease your nervousness that came from Chara’s voice.

 _Chara…_ You started your thought, but you weren’t so sure how you were going to continue it.

 **Yeeees?** You could practically hear the grin in their reply, if that was even possible. It was clear they already knew what you were going to ask, but you didn’t realize they’d be getting any sort of gratification out of it.

You breathed out once more, watching the fog from your breath slowly drift upwards in the sky. You wondered where Sans was.

Maybe he was watching you. (Hint: he was.)

You force yourself to get back on the subject at hand, _Chara… I didn’t grab the knife, that… wasn’t me._

 **Mmhmm?** They seemed even further contented, hearing the nervousness in your thougthts. You tried not to be phased by it.

 _Did you..?_ You couldn’t believe what you were asking. They were only a voice in your head, sure they were sentient, but they couldn’t have grabbed the knife for you…right?

**Well, duh. He would’ve killed us if I hadn’t!**

So you were right. _But…how?_

**Dunno. I know I’ve been able to do it since the beginning, but I’ve never really needed to. I know you can take care of yourself but when Flowey grabbed you, you froze. So, naturally, I took matters into my own hands, or, uh, your own hands, I guess. You’re welcome by the way.**

_Oh…ok, thanks.._ You feigned calmness in your thoughts, hoping that Chara wouldn’t notice just how unsettled you were.

Luckily, they changed the subject.

**Oh, shit are you bleeding?**

You looked down at yourself, still sitting, legs extended in the snow. You noticed the not-so-slow trickle of red staining the whiteness under your bare legs, leaking from the cuts spiraled around your skin where Flowey’s thorns had stuck. The sight of blood made you a bit nauseous, but you ignored the feeling and made your way to stand. You set out on the path ahead of you with a slight limp, shivering slightly from the cold.

You didn’t feel the same feeling of being watched.

You didn’t hear the branch snap behind you.

You didn’t even hear Chara’s concerning thoughts in your head.

Maybe the cuts were deeper than you thought. Though, to be honest, you never did any sort of close examination of yourself.

It was only when you reached the bridge that you realized that something was wrong. Very wrong. Your legs were kept still by magic, so that Sans could not-so-sneakily walk up to you from behind, but you couldn’t hear his footsteps like last time. You looked down at yourself, your vision starting to darken around the edges, and finally noticed how pale your once-tan skin looked, even against the snowy background. In your mind, you could vaguely hear Chara shouting your name, but you only wanted to sleep.

“H U M A N.”

His voice sounded so far away.

The magic released and you found it hard to keep your balance as you turned to him.

“D O N T  Y O U  K N O W  H O W  T O  G R E E T  A  N E W- woah, kid, you okay? you don’t look so-“ Sans pupils instantly returned to his darkened eyes when he noticed you falling forward.

And the last thing you felt were the bony hands of the skeleton monster catching you as you fell.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, almost 3200 words thats like, twice as long as the first chapter. Anyway, really sorry for it being so late, I wanted to release it earlier, but I couldn't wrap up my thoughts and I had so many projects due, gosh. If i were to write a memoir it would just be full of me complaining. I'd call it, The Apathetic Struggles of a School Girl. I hope they'd teach it in English classes. 
> 
> Okay back on topic, I'm pretty proud of this fanfic cause usually I'd lose interest by now (and I can't lie, some days I feel like it) but I've actually felt pretty determined to finish it, and maybe make a sequel.
> 
> Maybe.
> 
> Probably not.
> 
> We'll see.
> 
> HOPEFULLY the next chapter wont take as long. Also, thanks again for the support and kudos, it means a lot to me. bye~


	4. Frisk Gains A Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to note: the entirety of this chapter is a flashback and includes some OCs of mine.
> 
> ****unofficial alternate title being "Frisk Has a Crush (but you cant prove it so shuddup)"****

The teachers always seemed to find the bruises before you did. On your wrists, on your cheek, your legs, it was more of a nuisance than anything else, to have her damage be visible. Your legs and arms felt more like canvases for evidence when they tried to accuse you of living in a broken home. You found yourself adjusting your wardrobe quickly, your striped sweaters and long jeans becoming your favorite clothes, as well as your safe-haven.

It was a bit of a challenge to dismiss the teachers’ accusations without being able to voice your excuses. You used your “communication” notebook (your father’s idea) to tell them lies about how you had gotten hurt from falling, since you were _so_ clumsy, or from playing with friends in the park. The latter was a bit harder to pull off since, honestly, you didn’t have any friends. Most kids were judgmental of your silence, apparently close-mindedness was genetic.

One day, though, two years after you moved back into your mother’s abode, you had finally gained a friend. It wasn’t the most traditional of situations to be introduced to one another but you didn’t much care. You could do anything, as long as she were by your side.

It began with the usual teacher’s spiel about your bruised wrist that he spied on your way out the door. Needless to say, it was too hot outside to wear your usual attire. He had pulled you aside and in a not-very-quiet voice asked if your mother had done this to you. You quickly shook your head, writing in your notebook that you had gotten your arm stuck playing hide n’ seek in the park or something or other. He didn’t buy it.

“Really, playing in the park? Chryssa please, you make these excuses all the time. Tell the truth for once, you know you can trust me.”

You looked at him as though you had no idea what he was talking about.

He sighed, “Well if you’re so adamant about blaming it on a playdate, could you point out the friend to me? Are they in your class? I would believe you much better if I had a witness.” You were about to shake your head and reply in your book but stopped when you heard another student walk into the classroom.

She looked around as though she were looking for someone and sighed in relief when she spotted you. “Oh! Chyrs, there you are!” She hurried over and lightly hugged your shoulders. You had no idea who she was, or where the nickname had come from, you knew she was in your class but you had never learned her name, or knew anything about her really. But you were grateful for the interruption anyway. She pulled away and stepped back, “Gosh, you had me worried. You should’ve told me you were staying after!” She turned in the teacher. “So, uh, what’s going on?” You could tell by her voice that she, in fact, _did_ know what was going on. You suspected she was listening in on your (only half-verbal) conversation before intervening.

You pointed to her, determined to use this disruption to your advantage, then at your written statement about the playing with friends. He put two and two together easily enough. “So _you_ were with Chyrssa when she obtained this injury?” He asked pointedly to her, gesturing to your wrist.

“Oh, yeah! We were playing and Chyrs had the most _brilliant_ idea,” she rolled her eyes lightly, “to hide in a tree. But as it turns out, it’s easier to climb up than down.” She giggled at the end, slipping her arm over your shoulder. You smiled back, trying not to tense up at the sudden contact.

You watched as the teacher waited, trying to think of a reason to doubt you, the finally sighed and relaxed slightly, “Well, if what you’re saying is true, then I apologize your wasting your time, Chryssa. Though you must understand that, as a teacher, it’s my job to make sure my students are safe. Please,” he paused, looking at you with sad eyes, “if you _ever_ have a problem, here or at home, please tell me. I only want to help.”

You smiled again and nodded, then followed the strange girl out the door. You waited until you rounded the corner, out of earshot, then you signed a slightly frustrated [ _why?_ ] to her, hoping the sign was simple enough to understand.

She looked you in the eyes then looked away, her previous cheery attitude fading slightly. You thought maybe she didn’t get your question, so you reached for your notebook but she replied, “I’m sorry, what I did back there was really rude, I know it’s none of my business but…” she sighed and looked back to you, smiling weakly, “I know what you’re going through, I think.” You could only stare as she slowly lifted part of her shirt, only enough for you to see a large multicolored mark on her stomach that contrasted against her pale skin. You gasped a little at the sight of it and she lowered her shirt again.

[ _Doesn’t it-_ ,] you stopped yourself from signing another question, forgetting that almost no one knew sign language apart from one or two teachers.

But to your surprise, she just laughed. “It’s okay. I know ASL, my nana was deaf so I learned it when I was pretty young.”

You smiled at that, but it faded to seriousness when you remembered what you were going to ask. [ _Doesn’t it hurt?_ ]

She continued smiling, “I don’t really mind. As long as I’m the one taking the hits instead of my sister.”

You nodded, [ _I know what you mean._ ]

Her cheerfulness clicked back in an instant, “Oh my God, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Amy and, well, I’ve sort of been kinda ‘observing’ you since I saw you stay after with another teacher like a week or two back and like, you had the bruises just like I did so I thought we could be friends but I never found the opportunity to ask and- gosh, I must seem like such a creeper right now. I promise it’s not like that I just get really curious about things and me and sis don’t have many friends and-“ She stopped her rambling when you brought two fingers up and pressed them lightly against her lips before pulling back and signing, [ _It’s okay, I don’t mind._ ]

She breathed in and out, probably out of breath from her constant talking. You giggled, pressing the back of your hand to your mouth to stiffen your laugh. She laughed with you after catching her breath. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I tend to ramble on and on when I’m nervous and you’re just so cute- NICE, I mean nice, uhh…” She buried her face in her hands, trying to hide her blush.

You felt yourself start to blush as well but Amy composed herself quickly and changed the subject. “Hey, so, my sister’s probably waiting on me, do you have anyone picking you up or anything?” You shook your head, you’re apartment was a short ten minute walk from the school and your mother didn’t care much where you were as long as you were home by the time her work ended. “Oh, cool, then would you like to come to the park with us? We usually hang out there since our dad doesn’t get home until like, six.” You nodded again excitedly and she smiled wider and took your hand, starting towards the main doors with you in tow. Your blush returned but luckily you were a step behind her so she couldn’t see.

When the two of you get outside, you see a blur of dark hair run into Amy, wrapping small arms around her torso. The small child (whom you guessed was Amy’s sister) let go before Amy could return the hug, and playfully hit against her stomach, looking up in concern and stated dramatically, “God, sis, why didn’t you tell me where you were! I thought you had _died_!”

Amy winced from her sister presumably hitting her bruise, but quickly recovered, smiling and ruffling her sister’s hair, “Sorry Olive, I didn’t mean for you to worry but I got us a friend!” She gestured to you, who was still standing back, observing the interaction. You gave a shy smile and waved. “Olivia, this is Chryssa, and Chy-,“ You cut her off by pulling on her sleeve and she looked at you questioningly, then down to your hands, expecting a reply.

You blushed, yet again and signed nervously, [ _Sorry but… would you mind calling me Frisk?_ ] You paused before beginning to elaborate but Amy interrupted you, “Oh sure, so Olivia this is Frisk and Frisk this is Olivia.”

You brightened considerably at the mention of your true name and held out your hand for Olivia to shake. She eyed you up and down a few times obviously sizing you up (which confused you since you were taller than her?), but after a few seconds she returned your handshake with a warm smile. “So why don’t you talk?” She asked you with absolutely no warning whatsoever, and you found your smile quickly fading.

“Olive! You can’t just ask personal questions like that right after meeting someone!” You look away but sigh gratefully for Amy coming to your rescue…again.

Olivia seemed legitimately confused, “Huh? It was an honest question. I mean, we’re friends right?” She looked back to you and you wished you could disappear right where you stood.

“Olivia.” You see Amy cross her arms in your peripherals and by the change in her sister’s expression, you had guessed she gave Olivia a glare as well. She apologized, and you said it was okay.

“But you’ll tell us later, right?” She looked at you with hopeful eyes, and though you weren’t sure about ever explaining yourself, you nodded anyway. Both sisters smiled and the three of you went to the park. You were so happy, for the first time in a while, playing with your new friends instead of waiting for your nightmare to come home. It was nice to forget about that and just be a kid and have fun like you were supposed to.

But soon enough, much sooner than you wanted, the clock struck 5:40 and you had to go home. Well, not actually home, it didn’t feel like a home at all, it was just where you were forced to live. You said goodbye to the sisters and they went to return to their house as well. The walk back felt more drawn out than usual. You reminisced about the short hours of your time with them, recalling Amy’s laughter and the way her sister scowled when she ruffled her hair, and how you blushed when she did the same to you. The sun still had another hour in the sky, since it was halfway through spring, and you wished you could’ve stayed a while longer.

And you wished you could’ve stayed forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much fluff, not enough space.
> 
> So i was gonna get back to the storyline in the present or whatever especially after that shitty cliffhanger in the last chapter buuuuuuut once again, schools a bitch. So i'll just post this one and write the next one as soon as im done with my shtuff. Also dont worry Amy is totally cute and good for frisk just trust me on this one I promise.
> 
> Nothing bad will ever happen ever
> 
> ...


	5. Welcome to The Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so that took longer than expected but I'll complain about that later I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The world faded to blackness all around you, but you kept walking. Slowly the buildings towering above became more spaced out and dull, wiping from existence in the endless space behind. The already blurry-faced people discontinued walking in your path and soon just stopped appearing in your limited view altogether. Under your feet, the sidewalk dissolved and melted away until you were walking on nothing at all. This world was your own, an empty void. Time stopped, the air was still and silent. You couldn't hear your own heartbeat or your breathing, you weren't sure if you were alive anymore, if you even _existed._

But you weren't scared.

**So, are you just gonna keep walking or…**

“Chara?” You were shocked to hear your own voice answer for your thoughts. You know you didn't move your lips, but you didn't question it. This world existed in your own mind anyway. Still, from not having spoken in years, it was surprising to know that you still remember what your voice sounded like.

You couldn't help but be excited to hear it once more, “Chara, why are you here?”

**Why wouldn't I be here? I'm still like, trapped inside you. …WOW that sounds really weird when I say it out loud.**

You giggled, but the laughter wasn't exactly corporeal. It was certainly strange but you didn't dwell on the feeling, or lack thereof. “So, what's the deal with, uh, all of this? Why haven't I loaded my save yet?” Don't get me wrong, you were content with your peaceful semi-existence in the void, but you had to get back to the land of living sometime.

**Well… that's the thing, you're not actually dead… yet.**

“The hell does that mean?” How could you not be dead? You pretty much lost a third of the blood in your body, plus you probably had a concussion from hitting the stone floor and you of all people should know to never sleep with a concussion.

**You're only like half dead. I think. I'm not completely sure, but I know we kind of appear here between the time you fall, and when your soul breaks and you load your save.**

You only vaguely remember the half second visits to this void of yours. It made a bit more sense of why this place was familiar to you now. “So,” you sit cross-legged on the floor of darkness, “what happens now? Are we stuck here?”

**No, now you're faced with a choice.**

“What kind of choice?”

**You can return to the timeline you were just in and attempt to survive. But I'll be straight with you, it's not gonna be fun. It's going to hurt like hell and you're probably just end up dying anyway.**

**Another option is loading your save, but then you'd be back to right after meeting up with Toriel again.**

“What? You mean I didn't save it all while at Toriel’s?”

**You weren't very determined about anything in particular while you were there. I think your doubt in leaving Toriel kept you from saving.**

That makes sense. The whole time you spent there was just a whirlwind of emotions.

**The problem with that option is that we have no idea what will happen. And if you end up fighting Flowey again, you'll be right back where you started.**

“How can you be sure of that?”

**I'm not, that's the problem. And you get the same problem with the third option, which is resetting.**

You groan internally and flop down on your back. Decisiveness was never your strong suit. “Can I just stay here?”

**Eventually your soul break on its own, so you're basically picking option two there.**

You closed your eyes. Or maybe you didn't. It's hard to tell in the complete darkness of the void. The action was calming nonetheless. “Okay, last question. How do you know all this?”

Chara didn't answer right away, so you took the time to go over your options. You're pretty sure you could stay alive if you went back in, not dying is something you think you're pretty good at. Dying or resetting didn't really interest you, since you would potentially have to fight Flowey and you might even end up fighting Toriel. And breaking her heart again was not something you particularly wanted to do.

**You sound like you've made your choice.**

“Didn't answer my question.”

**That's because I don't know how to explain. Let's just say, I learned from a friend.**

You could tell they weren't telling you everything but, well, Chara will be Chara. You sigh and stand up. “Alright, so how do we get out of here?”

**Just stay determined and you’ll get to where you want to go eventually.**

“Wow that actually sounded philosophical. Like a wise old man.” You concentrated on waking up and watched as the darkness around you glowed to a smooth white.

 **I'm flattered but could you hurry it up. It's much less comforting in the void when it's not your own.** Chara realized the information they just gave away but luckily you were too busy trying to get back to the timeline to notice. You closed your eyes (for real this time) and felt the world around you fade and begin to materialize into reality. At first you couldn't feel anything as you lingered, still in your mind, waiting to wake up once more. Then all at once the pain returned, filling seemingly every nerve in your leg, and everything else felt dreadfully numb from the cold. Your head was ringing and the light outside your eyelids felt so bright you didn't dare open your eyes. You felt so weak and exhausted even though you've been unconscious for God knows how long. You could vaguely hear muffled voices from some location near you, but you were too busy trying to withstand the pain to understand whatever they were saying.

Resetting didn't seem that bad of an option right now.

No. You can get past this, you just need to be strong. You mustered up the strength to brace the shining light and slowly opened your eyes. It was absolutely blinding for the first few seconds, but once your vision adjusted, you saw a room full of concerned skeletons. And no, that's not a lead up to a shitty joke. You recognize your surroundings to be the living room of the skelebros. Neither of them noticed that you were awake yet; Papyrus was pacing near the stairs and Sans was on the phone in the kitchen. The smaller skeleton glanced over, finally seeing you awake and conscious, and quickly hung up the phone and scurried his way over to you. Papyrus also stopped his pacing and stood next to his brother, towering over you in your place on the couch. You stared up at the two, not really wanting to move or say anything.

“hey, kid, you okay? can you hear me?” Sans spoke up, holding his usual grin but you could see the concern in his eye… sockets. You nodded slowly, though his voice sounded more like he was whispering from across the room instead of talking a few feet from you. You took one arm out from under the- oh look at that, you had a blanket over you- and slowly spelled out, [ _s o u n d  f a r  a w a y_.] Sans nodded understandingly and signed back, asking if you wanted anything. You made a ‘w’ with your free hand and tapped it against your lips twice, the sign for water. He nodded and returned to the kitchen so you turned your attention to the larger skeleton, who was standing kind of awkwardly to the side.

“Will you be alright, human?” He sounded oddly quiet, or maybe that was just you. Either way, he definitely didn't have his normal optimism and you felt the guilt press on your chest since you knew it was your fault. You smiled as best as you could and signed reassurance, [ _Yes, I will be fine. Thank you._ ] Luckily, the sentence was all one-handed words. Sans returned, holding a glass of water and a pillow. Papyrus helped you lean up a bit so they could fit the pillow behind your shoulders. Once it was placed you adjusted yourself carefully but hissed when you shifted your injured leg. You waited a moment for the sting to lessen before taking the glass from Sans and drinking. You down the glass in one swig and instantly felt a lot more refreshed now that your throat stopped burning. It also woke you up slightly, easing some of your exhaustion with the cool liquid circulating in your stomach.

Papyrus spoke up once more upon seeing your alleviation, “How are you feeling, human?” His worry seem to have let up some. You responded with a thumbs up, smiling brightly.

Sans clears his throat (wait what the hell he doesn’t have a throat????), “well, the next thing should be getting you a change of clothes, so you don't catch a _cold_.” You think that was a pun, it seemed a little too literal to be one, but the wink he gave you told you otherwise. He was right though, your soaked-to-the-bone shorts weren't doing any favors for you right now. Oh damn, that was actually a pretty good pun. Maybe you should tell him it- oh wait shit he's already speaking again. “-to my room to get some. papy, why don't you see if you can patch ‘em up and i'll be back in a jiffy.”

“Not a problem, brother!” Papyrus responded, it was good to see his enthusiasm back in action, even if your headache came along with it. Papyrus knelt down next to the couch as Sans shuffled up the stairs in the background. The kneeling skeleton hovered his hand over the blanket atop you hurt leg, but looked back to you before doing anything. “May I?” he was asking for your permission. What a gentleman! You nodded and watched as he slowly uncovered your leg from the blanket. You braced yourself for a mess of dried blood and thorns, but it actually wasn’t that bad. Apparently someone cleaned it up a bit while you were out of it. Now all that remained on your leg were quite a few bloodless gashes and a large snake-like bruise spiraled around your ankle up to your mid-thigh. The sudden cold air stung your wounds but it wasn’t unbearable or anything. Papyrus removed a glove and placed a skele-hand about an inch above your calf, where one of the larger gashes was. You observed as his hand glowed a bright orange and little whips of magic circled his boney fingers then extended down to your cut. He shifted his hand, accidentally blocking your view of what was happening, but you didn’t want to interrupt his concentration so you waited patiently. A few seconds passed and he moved his hand back and you saw that the injury was completely gone! Well, not _completely_ gone, there was a small white mark in place of the cut but you suspected it would be gone tomorrow. You continued staring at the absence of a wound astounded, before glancing over at Papyrus, who was awaiting your response. You smiled ever wider at him and signed a quick thanks before asking, _how?_

His face lit up and he placed the hand over another wound before replying, “It’s quite simple actually! You see, the magic of the great Papyrus isn’t exactly healing you, but really just making it so you heal yourself faster!” You freed your other hand to sign another question, since he obviously could heal and talk to you at the same time. [ _Is that why you waited until I was awake to do it?_ ] You asked, because it would’ve saved a lot of trouble if the pain was already gone when you had woken up. “Yes! It is unsafe to heal someone if they are unconscious, since you are contributing as much of your energy as I am. It is possible to cause more damage that way!” You nodded along with his explanation and when he was finished, about a third of your cuts and a section of the bruise were healed. You saw that he was sweating a bit from the exertion and in truth you were feeling the drag from the effort as well.

[ _Maybe you should take a break and let me heal on my own for a while?_ ]You signed politely. He nodded and stood up, wiping his forehead with his gloved hand and slipping the other glove back on before taking your water glass to the kitchen. Sans then suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs, or maybe you just weren’t paying attention. He eyes your exposed leg, “ya might wanna get that covered before changing.” You asked if he had any gauze or bandage. “nah,” he stated nonchalantly, “we’re skeletons, remember? plus most monsters don’t really bleed in general.” You sat up quickly, remembering something.

[ _My backpack?_  ] You ask him. Sans wordlessly walks to grab the small drawstring pack on the table next to his pet rock. He passes it to you and you catch it, searching its contents. Your hands find the roll of (slightly used) bandage and you pull it out, examining its condition. It’s got one or two dried stains of red from its previous wrapping but other than that it’s sterile. You lean forward and start wrapping it around what’s left of the damage on your leg and secure its end. You look back up to Sans and he hands you a t-shirt with a picture of a cartoon character you don’t recognize (you never watched much TV) and a pair of sweatpants. Both items of clothing are definitely too big for you. You glance at the clothes, then back to him and point to Papyrus’ room upstairs.

Sans chuckles, “oh right, privacy, almost forgot. can you walk?” You attempt to move your leg and wince at the pain, although it’s considerably less than the last time. You look back up to him and he shrugs, grinning widely, “oh well, guess i’ll have to carry you then.” Your eyes widen and you try to shake your head but then he abruptly sweeps you off the couch and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck. Your leg stings from the sudden movement but you’re too flustered to care, and he obviously can see that because he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face. The blanket falls off onto the couch but the clothes you were holding stay balled up on your stomach. You blink and suddenly you’re in Papyrus’ room. You question how Sans got there so fast but you’ve got a pretty good idea when your stomach catches up with you and you’re overrun with a nauseating feeling. Not enough to throw up, but you still groan and press your face into his hoodie. “heh, sorry kiddo. probably should’ve given some warning first.” He sets you down on Papyrus’ racecar bed with your back against the wall and you shoot him a look that says, _you think?_ He laughs and leaves you to your solitude.

Although your sweater wasn’t as soaked as your shorts, the lower back and the ends of the arms were cold and damp so you decided to pull it off. You inspect your now shirtless chest, running your cold fingers over the pale scars and almost-healed bruises, taking comfort in watching your ribs grow and shrink with every breath. You slipped on the t-shirt, contented that it obscures the unhealthy skinniness of your belly, which you usually relied on your fuzzy sweaters for. You shimmied out of your shorts next, careful not to jostle your bandaged leg more than it already had been, and quickly pulled on the sweatpants, since you were starting to get cold.

You barely had one second to observe your surroundings before you heard the door slam open downstairs and a powerful yell that could only belong to Undyne. “SANS! WHERE IS THE HUMAN, I KNOW YOU’RE HIDING ONE!” Well shit. You were definitely in no condition to fight right now and you know the fish monster could kill you in an instant. You froze in your spot, trying to steady your breathing to listen.

“UNDYNE?” The surprise, and slight worry, in Papyrus’ voice told you that it wasn’t him who called the captain of the freaking Royal Guard here.

“alphys,” You could tell that Sans was having a hard time keeping his grin, “i thought i told you _not_ to tell undyne.”

No way.

“I-I wasn't but s-she was in the r-room when you called.”

He _called_ her?!

“You can’t keep secrets from me anyway! Before we left one of the guards called in to report you carrying an unidentifiable monster. I would’ve had to check it out once I left Alphys’ place!”

Why didn’t he just teleport back?????

At some point in their conversation you started shaking. You’ve always hated being helpless and the anxiety of the situation was about to force you into a full-on panic attack. Your hands tightly gripped your arms and you pulled your legs into your chest, the pain not even registering in your frantic mind. Their conversation continued downstairs for a while but you weren’t listening anymore, that is, until you heard someone walking up the steps. You held onto yourself even tighter, your eyes closed shut and your lungs flat-out refusing to take in any air. Normally you took situations like this in stride, since you could always load your SAVE, but right now, after all you’ve done and been through;

You did _not_ want to die.

The door opened painfully slow and you jumped from your trance, pressing your back in the corner between the bed frame and the wall, looking up to see your attacker.

And to your surprise –and relief –it was Sans.

He was standing in the doorway, a look of concern written on his face. You relaxed instantly, the tension dissipation from your shoulders as you hurriedly asked if the other monsters were gone.

He hesitated for a moment before nodding; he didn’t particularly like lying to you but he knew you’d just freak out again if he told the truth. Then you smiled at him thankfully and he felt even guiltier.

But luckily, he was an expert at hiding his emotions.

With the relief still plastered on your face, you slowly scooted off the bed to attempt to stand on your own. You stood up shakily, holding the desk next to the bed for support, and although your hurt leg couldn’t support your full weight, you admit that you may have been a _little_ overdramatic about the pain before…

Alright, maybe you were being more than just a little, but to your defense, you _are_ a pretty overdramatic person.

(or maybe that’s just the author)

((hint: it’s totally just the author))

Anyway, you jump out of your thoughts once more when you see Sans hold out his arm for you to take. And although you’d much rather take another nap, you happily wrap your arm around his, feeling the fleece-like material of his jacket press against your bare arm. You definitely would not mind having a jacket like that for yourself.

Sans matches your slow, limping stride as you two make your way out Papyrus’ room to the top of the stairs. Then you made the mistake of looking into the living room, and felt the blood drain from your face.

“SANS, WHAT THE HELL!?”

On the couch below you sat a very pissed off Undyne, perched at the edge of her seat, ready to attack at any given moment.

Ready to attack _you._

Sans had lied.

 

And you felt like you were going to have a **bad time**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so before I begin my rambling I just really want to say thank you all so much for the comments and almost 80 kudos! Literally almost nothing makes me happier than reading what people have to say about my writing cause I never feel like i deserve it but I love it anyway so thank you so so much!  
> -  
> Alright down to business. So one of the reasons like chapter was so prolonged was cause I may or may not have started writing a sort of spin off from this story and I may or may not post it once I get like 3 chapters done, I'll just have to wait and see.
> 
> Also I forget a lot of the time while writing that the reader doesn't exactly know what I know so some things don't make sense but I also suck at relaying information so yah.
> 
> So I should probably wrap up my rambling or it'll be longer than the first chapter lol. Thank you all for reading and I hope you all enjoy for what I have in store.
> 
> (Uhh I guess I'll leave sort of a hint, take it as you will but, 
> 
> there's a reason why the skeletons are acting so chill around you.)
> 
> Don't trust anyone.
> 
> Bye!


	6. In The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to self: don't write fanfiction while listening to sad-sounding music
> 
> Songs Listed:  
> Please - Ludo  
> The Call- Regina Spektor  
> Blue Lips- Regina Spektor  
> And toooons of vocaloid.
> 
> hahhhaa, I can't feel my face
> 
> oh right also, I'm switching up a bit of the writing style, i guess, im just trying to make it easier to distinguish between Frisk's thoughts and signs, if it just makes everything worse then let me now, thanks enjoy!~
> 
> \----------  
> Read the notes at the end for an update as of March 27 (spoilers: I'm sorry)

You had a half a mind to just bolt back to the bedroom, but that really wasn’t an option at the moment. Sans had apparently read your mind and tightened his hold on your arm, whether it was to show you that you’re safe or to keep you from running, you have no idea. Maybe both. But frankly, at this point you didn’t really care. He _lied_ to you.

**Yah, but so did you, technically.**

_What? When did I ever lie to them?_

**Whatever, we can talk about this later. I’m pretty sure Undyne is about to kill you.**

As much as you hated Chara acting ominous, plus they’ve been pretty quiet since you woke up, you knew they were right. You pull your attention back to your current predicament. Sans was pulling lightly on your sleeve, “hey, kid, you okay? you’ve been staring blankly ahead for the past minute.” You blink at him, smiling weakly, and nod. You look back to Undyne, who is still sitting with her arms crossed looking _very_ annoyed. Though you would much rather be anywhere but here right now, you knew you’d have to face her eventually, and it might as well be now where someone can help if she tries anything.

You look down the steps in front of you, which suddenly seem very threatening in your condition. To get down, you’d probably have to put all your weight on the railing but since Sans still had a grip on your arm, he’d have to support you on the way down. He might as well just carry you.

Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

You wiggle your arm out of his and sign to him, asking if he could carry you. He shrugs and nods but before he can get to carrying you bridal-style, like last time, you quickly step behind him and jump on his back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He chuckled in surprise, then supported your legs around his hips.

He walked carefully down the steps, trying not to jostle your leg and you couldn’t help but smile. You haven’t had a piggy back ride since you lived with your dad.

Oh, wait, you’re already at the bottom. Well it was fun while it lasted.

You wait for Sans to put you down but he doesn’t. Not until he walks to the couch and places you in it… right next to Undyne. After he sets you down he quickly steps back out of reach and has the _audacity_ to say, “alright kids, i’m gonna check on paps, have fun.” Then he just _leaves you._

_Alone._

With the _killer fish._

Alright, just stay calm, you’ve dealt with shit like this before. Just stay calm. You try to steady your nerves and breathe evenly, staring blankly at the TV or the walls… essentially avoiding Undyne’s gaze at all costs. That didn’t stop her from staring directly at you though, still holding her frown. After a few moments, you gave in, breathing in deeply and sighing before shyly meeting her gaze. You smiled meekly and gave a pathetic wave. Now that you could finally inspect your opponent, you saw that her frown was not one of anger like you expected, but actually more like confusion, like she didn’t quite understand what she was looking at. And that had you a bit confused as well, but also relieved, since she didn’t seem to _want_ to kill you.

At the moment.

You narrowed your eyes a little and signed a quick [ _what?_ ] to her. She broke her gave for a moment to read your hands. Then, to your surprise, she groaned in annoyance into the air and fell back into the couch. She gestured in your general direction, “I just don’t get it! All my life, I was taught that humans were big, ruthless beings that will kill no matter what. I mean, they’re the reason we’re freakin’ trapped down her in the first place!” You weren’t really sure how to respond, this all got really personal really fast. But before you could worry about that, she continued, “So why aren’t I trying to capture you right now? Why haven’t _you_ tried hurting anyone? What do you have to gain by befriending them?!”

She was clearly torn by this predicament so you tried to think carefully before responding.

[ _What would I gain from hurting them?_ ] you signed, slowly.

That wasn’t an answer she was expecting, made clear by her wide eyed expression towards you, “I don’t know, power? LOVE? Everyone down here’s basically against you anyways. So why not fight back?”

[ _Not everyone._ ] you reply, glancing at the kitchen, where you’re 97% sure the other monsters were listening. In fact, you can see a small part of Papyrus’ scarf hanging through the doorway.

She sighed a final time and ruffled your hair. You tried desperately not to flinch. “You’re alright, punk. And I know we’re close to getting out of here,” she grinned wildly at you, “but I guess we’ll just have to wait for some mean human to fall down here instead.” You smiled back and she ruffled your hair _again_. Then she stood and stretched before calling to the kitchen, “ALRIGHT NERDS, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!”

You watched as the three monsters piled into the living room from the kitchen, with Papyrus looking surprised, Alphys a bit nervous, and Sans… being Sans. You glared at the short skeleton (well not really ‘short’ per se, he’s about the same height as you, if not a few inches taller, but compared to his brother he’s pretty dang short) because he freakin’ lied to you, then proceeded to leave you alone with the very possible threat to your very existence, knowing full well that you couldn’t run away.

Seriously, what a dick.

You held your death stare while Papyrus and Undyne bickered about how she knew they were there with Alphys trying to steadily calm them. Sans held his grin under your heavy glare, not affected in the slightest. Obviously he wasn’t understanding your gall so you signed to him, [ _Sans, what the hell._ ]

His smile grew even bigger as he shrugged, “please, have you no faith? you were never in any danger.”

A large part of you knew that he was right but you scoffed at him anyway and feigned betrayal. [ _I trusted you._ ] you signed (dramatically). He laughed and you smiled back, any lingering annoyance or mistrust dissipating in an instant. The other three turned to the commotion, Alphys ultimately successful at returning the two to their indoor voices.

“So! Kid,” Undyne started, grabbing your attention, “you got a name?”

Before you could answer, Papyrus lightly ruffled your hair and replied for you, “This is Frisk! The human Sans found injured near his post!” You instinctively sidestepped out of his touch from his sudden contact (and because only _one_ person had permission to ruffle your hair and needless to say, they’re not here right now) and looked back up at him in surprise and a little uneasy.

You don’t recall ever telling him, or anyone in the Underground for that matter (except Chara), your name. You wanted to blame it on not remembering telling him or Sans your name, but you’ve literally been unconscious the majority of your time with them.

Maybe you misheard him? He was shouting directly next to you and you could still feel your ears ringing from that encounter.

Shit, how long have you been staring?

“hey kid, you alright? you look like you’ve seen a ghost or somethin’.” Sans finally broke the silence, and you saw the similar concern on everyone’s faces. You did your best to smile, even though you were still pretty freaked out.

[ _Yeah, sorry. I’m fine just…_ ], you decided to keep your concerns secret for now, [ _just tired_.] You were going to yawn for good measure, but that’d probably seem too suspicious.

“That’s right, human! You’ve been healing and building friendships all day!” (Meaning the hour that you’ve actually been awake.) “You must rest immediately!” Thank Papyrus and his precious, optimistic little soul. You weren’t really tired but you preferred to be alone with your thoughts for a while, or as alone as you can be with Chara in your mind or whatever.

You only half paid attention while Papyrus said his goodbyes and ushered Undyne out of the house, and Sans pulled Alphys into the kitchen for a minute before escorting her out as well. Papyrus offered you his room to sleep in, but you declined, not wanting to impose any further than you already have. With reluctance he allowed you to stay on the couch, but not before bringing you another pillow and two more blankets. You acted that you didn’t need the extra comfort but secretly you were glad for the layers of warmth because it was cold as hell in here.

Maybe hell isn’t the best analogy for the cold but you get the point.

Anyway, the boys eventually retreat to their rooms and you’re left in your bundle of blankets on the couch in the semi-darkness. The source of the dim light that seemingly existed in the room was unknown to you, but you didn’t care right now.

Chara had some explaining to do.

**You called.**

_Yes, I did. Would you care explaining some things to me?_

**I guess so? What’s on your mind?**

_Well, first of all, what did you mean earlier about me lying?_

**Ugh, do we have to do this now? You should really just sleep.**

_No, Chara, you said you’d talk._

**Fine, so you were acting so perturbed about Sans lying to you, but you’ve practically been lying to them this whole time! Pulling this act where you have no idea who they are or where you are even though it’s obvious that you know a lot more than you’re putting out.**

_Well, it’s not like I could just flat out say that I’ve been here before in another life. That’d sound insane._

**I know that, I’m just saying you don’t have the right to be angry about anyone else lying to you, since basically everything about you is a lie.**

_Why are you acting like this?_

Chara didn’t say anything.

_Did I do something wrong?_

More silence.

_Was it-_

**I’m sorry. I’ve just been over thinking things I guess.**

_What are-_

**Hey Frisk?**

_…yes Chara?_

**Can you tell me about Aenta?**

What.

_What?_

**Tell me about Aenta.**

_…why?_

**I want to know about him.**

_…I’m not sure if I could tell you much, I haven’t seen him in years._

Another few seconds of silence.

**Do you think he misses you?**

_What..? What does that mean? Of course he does, I’m his sibling!_

**Frisk, you haven’t seen him since you were seven, right? He was two and half. Are you sure he even remembers you?**

You didn’t know how to answer. What kind of shit was Chara trying to pull here?

_Then… then that’s even more of a reason to go back to the surface! He’s my whole world, Chara._

**You seemed to be doing fine without him.**

_What is that supposed to mean?!_

**C’mon Frisk. You practically replaced him. I mean why else would you befriend Amy and Olivia so quickly?**

_So, what, I’m not allowed to have friends without some underlying motive?_

**Well the only reason you’re befriending everyone down here is so you can get out! Back to the surface, back to the friends who’ve forgotten about you, to a mother whose hit you more than loved you, and a brother who probably doesn’t even know you exist.**

**What’s the point, Frisk?!**

…

_What are trying to prove, Chara? You don’t think I already know that? That I’m unwanted, that I never should have been born?_

Even though you were covered by several blankets, you felt entirely too cold. And restricted. You desperately needed to take a walk. Pushing off the blankets, you attempt to get on your feet. It still hurts like hell, but you couldn’t possibly care less. You limp to the front door, grabbing a jacket not unlike Sans’ before slipping out into the cold, snowy night.

**Frisk what are you doing? You’re going to freeze out here.**

_‘What’s the point?’_

You really just wanted Chara to shut up.

The freezing wind blows against your face, making you uncomfortably aware that you’ve been crying. You take a second to pull up the wool hood of the jacket and wipe your face on the sleeve before beginning your trek.

You go left, towards Waterfall, since it should be warmer there. Plus, it’s a nice place to be _alone_.

**Frisk, this is a stupid idea. Just go back to the house.**

_Go away._

The fog thickens around you and you can barely see four inches in front of your face, but you keep walking. It’s pretty much a straight-shot to the caves from here.

**I’m telling you, Frisk, you’re gonna regret this decision.**

_Will you please just go away?! I really, really don’t want to hear you right now._

**But Fri-**

Just ignore them. That’s what you do. You shut them out of your mind so you don’t have to listen to them, anymore. It works for the most part, and you finally, truly feel alone.

All alone with your thoughts.

You keep up your limping pace through the paths in the sparkling land of Waterfall. You remembered finding a secret room behind a particularly thin waterfall in your first run, where the dusty tutu lay. The air was a bit wet and uncomfortable in your thick jacket, but it was still too warm to take it off. You passed Sans’ sentry station near the entrance to Waterfall and wonder how the brothers would react to seeing you gone in the morning. Papyrus would probably be worried and upset and Sans would be too, but he’d probably pretend everything was fine to calm his brother down.

_They probably wouldn’t care…_

…where the hell did that depressing thought come from?

You shook off the self-depreciation and found yourself in front of the secret room. You really didn’t want to get wet so you took off the jacket to offer a little protection as you passed under the falling water.

Finally, alone, in a place that no one knows about, with your thoughts and silence and nothing else, you press your back into the wall.

_They’re right, I know they’re right…_

And slide down into a sitting position.

_No one is waiting for me, no one is looking. Nobody cares._

You curl your knees to your chest.

_Why do I even bother..?_

You head falls into your arms.

_I’ll never be happy._

And you break.

Down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So heeeey I got out another chapter since I'm in intense pain and can't really do much else with my time.
> 
> yah yah, getting your wisdom teeth pulled is the worst, i'm just sad that I didn't do anything funny or embarrassing while coming out of the anesthesia 
> 
> actually scratch that, i'm happy i had my dignity
> 
> Anyway, thanks again for the comments and OVER 100 KUDOS Wow I never would've thought that more than 3 people would like my story its just really surprising to me
> 
> also im so so sorry for this chapter I blame the music and the drugs for the pain and anime and gosh im just really sorry.
> 
> oki bye~
> 
> \-----------------------  
> Edit 3/27  
> Alright alright so I don't know if people who have this work bookmarked will be notified by this edit, but I hope anyone who cares finds this anyway 
> 
> So I've been having really really bad writers block lately and by lately I mean for the entirety of the month. It's just everytime I sit down to write I just don't feeeeel like it, and if I do write it feels forced and I hate it.  
>    
> I don't plan on leaving this story behind but I just need a little break, I've been doing a lot more art stuff in my spare time and that's made me really happy because I'm being productive in a sense but I still feel guilty for leaving this so untouched for a long time. I would make one of those "authors note" chapters but I hate those with a burning passion because it seems like such a _lie_.  
>   
>  I'm really sorry for making you all wait. I have the next chapter basically planned out but I've written and rewritten it like five times and it's just not turning out the way I want it to be. I'm considering skipping it (since it doesn't have much to do with progressing the plot anyway) but with a title like "Secrets Revealed" it's hardly skippable.  
>   
>  Sorry if im rambling it's like 2 am and I have school the day after tomorrow and my sleep scheduled already fucked as it is but I honestly can't do anything about that and this has been kinda stressing me out and making my stress-induced insomnia come back and...ugh ok now I'm rambling.  
>   
>   
>    
> I'll just go now  
>   
>   
>    
> Sorry again  
>   
>   
>    
> I'll update as soon as I can I promise  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>  _...._  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>  im sorry  
>   
>   
> 


	7. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT? FINALLY, A CHAPTER?????? It must be Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha helllooooo everyone, tis i, the lost author
> 
> hehe its been awhile since that shitty note and like, wow i'm sorry i didn't update sooner, i've been really creatively and mentally drained for the past 8-10 months so yeah, writing just didn't feel the same
> 
> i've been drawing a lot more tho, and getting better at that so that's a start
> 
> hopefully i'll keep this up, but for now, enjoy! ^-^

You awoke clumsily and groggy, to the point where you forgot where you were for a moment. But the feeling of your cold, damp clothes pressed against your skin reminded you of your current predicament. You felt as though your head was throbbing and your eyes were dry, despite the humid air around. Although, you were used to this feeling, you know it happens every morning after you’ve cried yourself to sleep. It’ll fade with time. You breathed out a sigh, shifting from your uncomfortable sleeping position on the stone floor, leaning against the wall. You debated on trying to sleep for a little while longer, just to actually replenish some of your energy, but you knew it was unlikely. So instead you stood up, apparently much too quickly as your head screamed at you and filled with fuzz. You tried to ignore it, and stretched your aching back, and legs, and pretty much everything.

You combed through your hair, readjusting the ribbon to keep it from curling over once it dries. The tutu in the corner caught your attention, and you considered trying it on, but the thin layer of dust covering it just made you uneasy. You wondered which monster they killed, or if they killed more than one. And how did the tutu end up here? Is this where they… died?

A chill shiver ran through and you decided it was time to leave. Whether to leave this room or Waterfall or the Underground altogether, you had no idea. But leaving the room was a good first step in your opinion. You decided to leave the jacket on and simply jump through the entrance waterfall, to avoid soaking you.

It failed. You were completely soaked in water now, but it’s not like it mattered, you were already damp to begin with. Your clothes just felt a little heavier. You shook your hair and hips a little, to see if you could get any excess water off, but you just ended up looking like an idiot. The paths to your left and right drew your attention away, and you pondered over which you wanted to follow. Back to Snowdin? Or further into the Underground? Snowdin? Underground?

Snowdin?

Underground?

Sans and Papyrus?

Home?

Home?

Back to your mother?

The surface?

Happiness? Which road led to that?

Going back to Snowdin wasn’t an option anymore. You ran away, right? They offered you a home, food, friends, shelter, and you just pushed it away like it was nothing. Without even a second thought.

You didn’t deserve any more of their kindness.

A small step towards the way opposite of the frozen little town decided your fate as you started walking without a second thought. Well, that was a lie, you were plagued by the idea that everyone hated you right now. Sans, Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, Papyrus, hell, probably Grillby too, even though you haven’t met him yet.  You barely even met him in the last timeline, you had only stopped to hang out with Sans since you were tired, and hungry, and had no money. In hindsight, spending it all on weapons and gear wasn’t the best idea. A small splash from under your foot reminded you that you were still walking blindly through Waterfall. You shivered at the feeling of your drenched socks sliding around it your shoes, but kept trudging on despite it. The water was at a weird temperature, not too hot, not too cold, although it made sense since this was the median between Hotland and Snowdin. It still gave you a chill for every slight breeze to pass over your soaked sweater that was basically molded to your skin by now.

Once you passed the stream and stepped on dry land, you thought about taking off your shoes to rinse the water out, but you knew there were much more swamp-like areas to come, so you decided against it. Before you could take another step, however, you heard an exclamatory voice ring from behind you, “Aha! I found the little nerd!” You barely had time to turn around before you were tackled by what seemed like an iron giant and sent into a roll along the floor. You reflexively brought up your arms to shield yourself from the danger that was the faster moving floor, but surprisingly, no pain came to you. Your attacker had shielded you themselves, taking the blow of the ground instead of you. By the time you two had stopped rolling, your adrenaline was at an all-time high with you being held in the air while the perpetrator, who was obviously Undyne, laid on her back below you. Her arms and cheeks were covered in small scrapes, but it’s clear that she paid them no mind. “Do you have any idea how stressful this morning has been?? Sans and Papyrus have been worried sick!!” You stared at her, unblinking. They were worried about you? You shouldn’t matter all that much to them, it’s not like you’ve done anything in return of their hospitality, besides being incredibly rude and running away. Sighing at your lack of an answer, Undyne rolled over to set you on the ground, and sat up cross-legged.

[ _I have to go home,_ ] you signed to her.

“Home can wait, twerp! You’ve got to apologize to the other nerds first!” Without warning she hoisted you up and onto her shoulders. It didn’t seem like you’d be getting down on your own. “Hold on tight!” She said, then immediately started sprinting towards Snowdin. You hoped your still wet clothing wouldn’t cause you to freeze to death.

You clung to her neck like a small, wet koala, huddling under the jacket you had brought with you despite it being just about as damp as your sweater. At least it protected from the oncoming icy winds. She didn’t seem to pay any mind to the fog that quickly encased the two of you once you exited Waterfall. She approached the brothers’ house and knocked on the door once before kicking it down. You leaned to look past her hair to see Sans standing near the doorway. “hey, papyrus, undyne and the kid are here.” He called out to his brother.

Papyrus raced out of the kitchen wearing a chef’s hat and a pink, frilly apron and stomped at the sight of their front door laying on the floor, “UNDYNE, THAT IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK!” He said, very loudly, then looked up and saw you, still huddling for warmth on her shoulders. “HUMAN!” He cheered, and scurried over to grab you, as carefully as ever, from your place. You were draped in a tight hug, but were unable to return it from how small you were pressed against him. “I WAS WORRIED SICK! THANK ASGORE THAT UNDYNE HAD FOUND YOU, I DON’T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD REMAINED ALL BY YOURSELF.” He yelled past you, thankfully, but it still hurt your ears. You didn’t have the heart to tell him to quiet down.

“now, now paps. make sure you don’t smother the kid on accident, there are other ways to _take their breath away_.” Sans brought up, ready to pull you back as Papyrus dropped you and groaned.

“YOU AND YOUR INSOLENT PUNS. I CANNOT STAND THEM, BROTHER.”

“you seem to be standing just fine.”

“AGHH!”

“or should i say _sans-ding_.”

“OKAY, THAT ONE WAS A STRETCH AND YOU KNOW IT.”

“well it’s not that easy _tibia_ pun master.”

Papyrus groaned again and you giggled, and that drew their attention away from each other and onto you. You looked away, embarrassed and guilty. Why were you pretending like everything was fine? You still ran away without telling them, stressing them out with worry for you. Didn’t they all have jobs? You took them away from their work just so they could find you again. How inconsiderate can you be?

Oh great, now you were talking to yourself in your head again, like a crazy person.

Your degrading thoughts just kept bouncing around your head, resulting in you squeezing your eyes shut and blocking your ears with your tiny hand, as if that would help. But you didn’t care, you just wanted it to stop. You started to back away, but a bony hand on your shoulder stopped you. “hey kid, you alright?” Sans spoke to you worryingly. You wanted to reply but you kept backing away, ignoring everyone else around you.

Why did he still care about you?

Didn’t he see that you just weren’t worth it?

Everyone you ever cared about in your life had left you behind, out of pity or spite, you were never sure.

But they left you all the same.

And now, the one time you want to decide for yourself to leave before you got hurt, and they actually care about you?

Not possible.

Life just doesn’t work that way.

“Uhh, Paps why are they crying?”

“I DON’T KNOW, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.”

“Well do something about it!”

“I’M TRYING TO CURE THEIR SADNESS WITH HUGS, BUT THEY DON’T SEEM TO BE RESPONDING.”

“HUG HARDER!”

“give them some space, paps. they’re gonna have to _comet_ down on their own.”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR PUNS, SANS.”

“oh, c’mon, throw me a _bone,_ the kid’s laughing.”

It was true. You still had tears in your eyes but the stupid puns and Papyrus’s reaction made you giggle again. But it subsided quickly and you could feel the spiral of your breakdown return. Sans must have noticed your returned frown and gave you a pat on the head. “hey, kid. don’t listen to yourself right now, ‘cause chances are, you’re telling yourself some wrong stuff.” He could have worded it better but his point still made it to you and you suddenly hugged him tight, still crying, though frankly you didn’t feel like you had enough energy to anymore.

“OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. I AM MAKING MY FAMOUS SPAGHETTI FOR ALL OF US, UNDYNE WOULD YOU CARE TO ASSIST ME?” Papyrus announced, and he and Undyne ran back into the kitchen.

It was only a few seconds before you heard Alphys’s meek voice (was she there the whole time?) come from in there with them, “G-guys! Be careful!” followed by a loud crash. Sans would’ve gone to intervene but you were still wrapped around his waist in a bear-hug, crying softly. “it’s alright, kiddo. don’t worry about nothing right now. you can stay with us as long as you’d like, and i promise, you’ll be kept safe. we’ll figure this out.”

And you truly wanted to believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops that was short
> 
> anyways, this wasn't exactly the chapter i had planned to do all those months ago but i just didn't feel like the one had planned fit well
> 
> and i guess that happens sometimes, but the rebound of not feeling accomplished with that chapter was to just stop writing altogether hhehe
> 
> ahh, i hate everything, but hopefully things are gonna be looking up for the future and i'll continue this torture of our beloved Undertale cast and crew one chapter at a time, as i always do
> 
> i hope you can have some patience, because with me you're gonna need it
> 
> thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it after this hellishly long wait
> 
> ^-^


	8. A Nice Relaxing Bath, Where Absolutely Nothing Goes Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> I am back from the dead, kind of.  
> this was waiting to be edited for like three days but I've been playing night in the woods and personal shit happened and I went to orientation for the college I'm going to!
> 
> so yeah sorry again this chapter isn't nearly long enough but I wanted to get it down so I could move on to the next chapter where shit happens
> 
> (also I'm deleting the author's note chapter 'cause I'm pretty anyone who actually cared already saw it ok bye enjoy)

"well now that that's over, how about a bath, kid? you look chilled to the _bone_ "

You nodded, a bath sounded like heaven for you right about now. With the sounds of a kitchen in the midst of its destruction behind you, you marched up the stairs, trying not to cringe from the feeling of your borrowed clothes sticking incommodiously to your cold skin. You didn't check to see if Sans was following, since you knew he'd probably just teleport to the bathroom door. Strange to think how he didn't question you already knowing where the bathroom was, but you didn't really mind it. It's obvious from the knowledge of your name (and his spontaneous trust) that he knew you two had been acquainted before, in some timeline. You began to wonder the extent of his knowledge as you approached the top, because frankly you didn't know all that much yourself. You knew you could save (if you felt determined enough), and load, for some reason. Before you had simply blamed it on magic and the underground or something but now you were really curious to know the answer. 

As you suspected, once you reached the top, Sans exited the small room between his and his brother's, holding a towel over his arm. "figured you'd want a fresh one." He said, referring to the towel, "there's also some dry clothes on the sink." Your stomach dropped, you almost forgot you had practically ruined the clothes he had given you before. 

[ _Sorry._ ] your shaking hands signed. You were still really cold, despite the warmth of the skelebrothers' house. Was there even a reason for the house to be warm? The pair of skeletons couldn’t even feel the cold, so why was indoor heating necessary? Did they do that just for you? Oh great, another thing to feel guilty about.

"don't worry 'bout it, kid." Sans ruffled your hair with his free hand, and you were reminded of someone. But you'll have time to reminisce later. He walked around you, and looked back to make sure you were heading in, before walking back down to the others. You stepped in the bathroom and closed the door behind you, breathing out a sigh of relief for them not being mad at you. It didn't make that much sense, you were just a mute, troublesome child after all. Of the entire time being here, you've only caused them to worry. You were a bother, a waste of space. 

And you really needed to stop with the self-deprecating. 

Ignoring the rude voice in your head (your own, not Chara's, you didn't really know where they were right now), you carefully strip off the slick jacket and your wet t-shirt. You stood in front of the mirror, looking at the redness that covered your chest and stomach, a side effect from being out in the cold too long. When was the last time you've eaten? Oh, right, Toriel gave you the pie. But you've also been out for a while, and you were injured; you should really get the bath over with so you can go eat some of Papyrus' spaghetti. You wonder if it's any good. 

You slip the remainder of your clothes off (and hang your underwear on the side of the sink, since you doubt Sans had gotten you a pair, being skeletons and all) and crept over to the bath that Sans had already drawn. The water was warm and comforting to your cold skin and you instantly relaxed. You thought for a moment to savor the warmth that spread slowly, but opted instead to get into the tub as quickly as possible. Minutes drew by before you made any move to begin cleaning yourself, the water was just so inviting. 

Too inviting, in fact, for in an instant your knees pulled toward you, causing your back to slide along the bottom of tub and your head went under. Your arms refused to move for a few seconds and the swiftness of the situation made it difficult for you to remember to hold your breath before you slipped beneath the once tranquil liquid, so you desperately tried to refrain from breathing in. Then, finally, your control returned to you, and you pushed yourself up and out of the water, panting heavily with streams trailing down your face from your soaking hair. 

What the hell was  _that_?

**Maybe next time, you could actually _listen_ to me instead of booting me out of your thoughts. **

Chara?

_You did that? What the hell Chara I could have died!_

**Oh please. You were never in any danger and you know it.**

_That's not the point, you can't just try to drown me every time you get angry!_

**Then how do I know you won't try to make me angry again?**

You audibly groaned. There was just no sense in arguing with them. 

Now that your peaceful moment was through and destroyed, you decided to actually bathe yourself in this bath and reached for the bottle of soap that was for some reason on the corner shelf of the tub. It was probably for Undyne, since she seemed to be over at the skelebros' house often enough. You stopped a few inches from the bottle though, suddenly self-couscous of the fact that Chara was back and you didn't have any clothes on. A blush appeared instinctively and you sank into the translucent water until just your head was above.

_You said you can see everything I see, right?_

**Yep.**

They didn't say anything more. Maybe they just didn't understand you?

_So, uh, you can see -_

**It really doesn't matter, Frisk. It's nothing I haven't seen before.**

You still felt awkward. 

_...could you, um-_

**Fine, fine, if you're so uncomfortable with my presence, I'll back out while you clean up, ok?**

_Thanks._

You felt a weird space in the back of your mind suddenly empty. A shiver ran down your spine at the feeling. You wanted to ponder what the heck that was, but then your stomach growled and you remembered that you had to finish your bath so you could get some food. It was honestly such a strange situation. Who knew that by climbing that accursed mountain that you'd end up with time traveling powers, a spirit that's stuck in your mind, sitting in the bathtub of a walking skeleton while his brother and their fish friend cook dinner? You tried not to think about why you were there as you washed your tan skin clean of the mud and dirt that had accumulated during your nap in the cave. The absence of any dust made you relieved, for some reason. Your chest felt lighter. You glided the soap carefully over the remaining wounds on your leg, only wincing slightly from the dull string, and remembered the events that created the injury. Why was Flowey acting so weird in this run? He was an asshole in the last run, sure, but he usually waited to reveal his true nature until you were at the barrier. Maybe you're choice to spare every monster had screwed up the timeline somehow. 

Maybe. 

Your task for cleanliness drew to a close, so you grabbed a towel and unplugged the drain to the tub. Half of you wanted to watch the water go down the drain (it wasn't very often that you had the time for a relaxing bath at home) but the other wanted to hurry up and get dressed so you could go eat. You elected to follow the latter, and dried your legs as best you could before stepped onto the bathroom mat, not wanted to leave it soaking when you left. Next, you quickly dried off your lower region so you could put your undergarments and pants on. You had always been uncomfortable to remain pants-less if you weren't showering or changing. From the number of droplets that fell onto your bare chest, you decided you should brush and tie up your hair next so you would get your shirt wet once you put it on. However, you didn't have a brush, so you just combed your fingers through your messy hair until you could semi-properly tie it up with the ribbon you had laid on the sink when you undressed beforehand. You had to look in the mirror to do this, and once your hair was out of the way your gaze moved down to your chest, and you just stared for a moment. 

**Hello I'm back, hope I'm not interrupting I just got bored-**

You reacted in an instant, covering yourself with your arms, then you realized that didn't help and turn away from the mirror, knowing that Chara could only see what you did. 

And god you hope they didn't see.

**Frisk... what... _was_  that..?**

You knew what they were talking about, you wish you didn't but you knew. 

_They're from a long time ago_ , you replied. You were referring to the thin red lines that followed neatly down your right side to your hip. The cuts were long since healed, and some had already scarred. 

**Still**...

_It wasn't even my idea. I didn't really want to but she... said it would help..._

**You were forced to?**

_No! No, I still did them myself, I just... I don't want to talk about this anymore._

You quickly pulled on the shirt and walk out of the bathroom, heading towards the stairs so you could finally get some food. Then afterwards, hopefully, a nice long nap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes yes I know it kind of ended on a cliffhanger, but I can explain
> 
> I have plans
> 
> maybe
> 
> plans that I'm sure everyone here will hate me for, and in accordance to that, watch out for the work's rating in the next few chapters 'cause there's a possibility that those will change *evil laughter in the distance*
> 
> hah I'm a mess
> 
> anyway
> 
> aside from that, I'm writing a night in the woods short story! it's horrifically sad and I hate myself for it but I will attempt to make it end happily
> 
> oh who am I kidding, it's not gonna have a happy ending ahaha
> 
> it's got spoilers tho so play the game (or watch Jacksepticeye play it) and you kind of have to understand what's happening to get the full feels so that's another reason to play it, and the game is just awesome
> 
> and how did this end note get to be more about NiTW than Undertale?
> 
> the world may never know
> 
> ...
> 
> oki bye see ya in like three months again haha  
> but like I'll still answer comments so leave those thanks
> 
> ~Chaos


End file.
